Coaching Call #095 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: Living At Home and In Debt – Does She Have the “Luxury” to Go After Her Passion?
The economy and the way we relate to our “jobs” is changing. But how do you move out of the old world paradigm, with its fear and student loans and family members that don’t understand why you can’t just get a real job already, into a reality where you can trust the Universe to support you and allow yourself to follow your passion?
That’s the challenge that this client faced. Sure, the IDEA of using the Law of Attraction to manifest an awesome life sounds great, but when we actually go to put it into PRACTICE, it turns out we have all these fears. Listen in as we tackle them one by one and demonstrate that the process really isn’t that hard, once you stop fighting it. Do you want to live in the New Economy where you actually get to do what you love and get paid for it, but your fears keep shutting you down? This call is for you.
Awesome Dudette’s Burning Question: “How does LOA work when it comes to how others perceive us? For example, if I think I am the most hilarious person ever and constantly crack stupid jokes, will others think I’m hilarious just because I think I’m hilarious? And say the people who everyone loves? Why does everyone love them and want to be around them? Is it because they love themselves so much? Because sometimes you encounter people who don’t seem that nice but everyone seems to love. But if I don’t think they’re that nice, why do a majority of other people LOVE them?”
Dear Awesome Dudette,
Here’s your video answer:
View the video directly on Youtube: http://youtu.be/5QQJlNvvtIA
For the “Readers” (you know who you are), here’s the transcript:
Ok, first of all, remember that you can’t know what anyone else is perceiving. You can only perceive your perception of their perception. Ha. That’s right people, we’re going further down the rabbit hole today.
You have to remember that you’re in the center of your own holographic Universe. Everything that you perceive is only there because it’s a reflection of your energy.
Now, a lot of people get themselves into trouble with this concept of perception, because they assume that 1.) they can see EVERYTHING there is to see (arrogant much?), and 2.) they actually know what other people are perceiving. But you can’t do either. Your value as a human here on Earth is your perception – your unique perspective that no one else can have. We each offer a completely unique perspective that no other human or entity in this world can offer in precisely the same way. If that wasn’t the case, then we wouldn’t need any of us. We would just have some guy named Bob sitting here by himself… observing.
But that’s not the case! We each bring our unique perspective and perception to the table. But in order to do that, we can’t also at the same time share someone else’s perception. In other words, you can only be in your own head; you can’t be in anyone else’s. How they might be perceiving something is completely irrelevant. The only thing that’s relevant is: how are YOU perceiving what they are perceiving?
I’ll explain further. Let’s say that you actually do think that you’re really funny. You go out and crack a bunch of jokes, and you attract a bunch of people that mirror back to you how you feel about yourself. In this case, they’re not validating that you’re funny; they’re mirroring back to you the fact that you genuinely feel good about yourself. So, you’re going to be in a vibration where you also attract people who think that you’re funny. This doesn’t mean that EVERYONE in the world thinks that you’re funny. But you don’t need everyone in the world to think that. Nor would you even be able to perceive everyone in the world. You can only ever perceive that which you’re a vibrational match to. And the way in which you experience that shows you where your energy is at, or essentially, how you’re feeling about yourself.
So, let’s say that you’re perceiving (from the outside, where you really don’t know what’s going on) a person who seems to have the adoration of many. Now, let’s say that they really do have the adoration of many and they’re experiencing that in a really positive way. That means that what’s being mirrored back to them is that they feel truly good about themselves. It’s not that everyone loves them because of it, it’s that they’re attracting people into their reality who are mirroring back how they feel about themselves.
If you, however, are looking at that from the outside, saying “I don’t get it. What do they see that I don’t see?”, then you’re sort of missing the point. What do they see that you don’t see? A lot! Because they have a different perspective than you do.
Why you don’t need them to like you
The problem arises when you start to look at what other people are looking at and you assume that, for some brain dead reason, you have to share their perspective.
When you see someone that you don’t really like and you see others liking them, nothing has gone wrong. All that means is that you, personally, don’t resonate with that person. It doesn’t mean that they’re bad. You see, you’re whole question kind of hinges on the idea that we should all share the same perspective and opinion, and that only one opinion is right.
So, either I’m right when I like something, or you’re right when you don’t like it. We haven’t yet really figured out that we can both be right. I can like something and you can not like it and that can be ok for both of us. I don’t need you to like it in order to give me permission to like it. Taking that a step further, I don’t need you to like me so that I can feel good about myself. And you don’t need me to like you so that you can feel good about yourself, because the second that you do need that, the Universe is going to mirror that back to you. Which means that people who trigger that within you, people who aren’t very nice to you, are going to come into your reality to show you that you’re insecure about yourself and that you’re asking others to provide you with the validation that you’re not willing to give yourself. But remember, that’s a losing game. Because they can only ever mirror back to you what your vibration is saying. So, you’re essentially walking up to the mirror, asking it to reflect something other than what you’re showing it. That’s never going to work.
Even though you can’t ever know what others are perceiving, it’s entirely irrelevant. The relevant thing is, what are YOU perceiving and how do you feel about it? What is your reality mirroring back to you?
So, if you want to get more people to like you? Don’t need them to like you. If you do like yourself first, does that mean that EVERYBODY will like you? No. Not everyone will resonate with you, or be in the same vibrational vicinity as you. In fact, those who are far away from your vibration will actually actively dislike you if they come across you. But that experience of disliking you will be a manifestation for them.
If you truly get stable in a vibration of self-love, you will no longer attract the people who do not resonate with you, who will not like you, into your experience. Which means that, yes, there will be people out there who don’t like you, but you won’t ever hear about it; you won’t know about it; it won’t affect you in any way. And even if you did hear about them, you wouldn’t care. Because you realize that everyone gets to have their own opinion, their own perspective, and not everyone needs to love you! It’s ok for you to find those people who do, the people who have always loved you, and allow your reality to show them to you. You don’t need everybody to get on board with the same opinion, in any case.
If you’re having trouble letting go of what others think…
For those of you who are having a really hard time with this idea of not really giving a crap what people think, and changing how you feel about yourself in order to attract a different experience, let me ask you this:
If you’ve been following the “old world” thinking of trying to conform so that others will approve of you, and needing them to approve of you so that you can approve of yourself, and if you’ve grown up on this Earth, you almost certainly have, how’s that been going for you? Are you feeling good with that approach? Does everyone love you? Have they dedicated a statue in your name? Are they naming their children after you?
It’s time to change our approach of how we fit into this universe, of how we fit into this world, and how we relate to each other. It’s ok to want other people to like you and it’s ok to enjoy it when they do. But don’t need them to in order to feel good about yourself. When you free yourself from that shackle, and you allow yourself to feel good no matter what they think, then you’ll attract only those into your reality that will mirror that back to you. In other words, those who will like you. Those are the people who always liked you, who would’ve liked you no matter what. It’s just that you were not able to see them. So you didn’t MAKE them like you, you simply filtered out all the people who don’t, and filtered in all the people who already do, instead of the opposite.