[Coaching Call #015 has been released in the Membership Site today. The Topic is: She Wants To Make Money While Helping People (Spiritual Business). For all of you who have some beliefs blocking you from making a living doing something that involves helping others in some way, this call is for you. Check out the Call Summary Here. ]
When we were little, our moms told us to take a jacket with us when we went outside, “just in case” it got cold. We may stick an extra $20 into our pockets, “just in case” we need it. We slow down when driving around the corner, “just in case” there’s a cop lurking behind it. We’ve spent our entire lives believing that it’s best to prepare for the worst possible scenario, “just in case” it happens. But, is that really a good idea? Does this mindset actually protect us from experiencing those worst case scenarios, or does it, in fact, pretty much guarantee that they’ll come into our experience?
I’m not saying that taking a jacket or an extra twenty bucks is bad, or that we should all drive around corners like maniacs. But this “just in case “mentality is pervasive in all areas of our lives. We’re afraid to focus too positively. What if what we want doesn’t come about? What if we don’t get it? Isn’t it better to expect the worst than be disappointed?
And therein lies the fallacy: When we accept that what we focus on grows, that what we give our attention to manifests and that what we expect can’t help but come into our reality, do we really want to go around expecting the worst case scenario “just in case”?
Most unhelpful point of view, ever
Trying to avoid disappointment by preparing ourselves for the worst possible outcome, is like trying to avoid hunger by throwing out all the food. You know, just in case. The very premise of trying to avoid disappointment requires there to be an expectation of disappointment. You’re basically saying, “I want this wonderful thing, but I don’t think I will get it, and so I’d better prepare for the horrible outcome I don’t want, but which I’m actually expecting.”
I’m sorry people, but bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
A helpful example
Let’s say that you’re looking for a new job. You have a job interview tomorrow, and your nerves are strung tighter than a hefty man’s mankini (do not Google this on a full stomach, I implore you.) So, you try to prepare yourself for every possible scenario. Only, you don’t. You focus heavily on the worst case scenario, the difficult questions they might ask you, how they might try to trip you up, how you’ll react if the interviewer is a total douchebag. And, having spent the better part of the evening envisioning every possible way that the interview could go wrong, you go to bed satisfied that you’re well prepared for the worst. Just let the douchebag try to throw you off. You’ve got this.
You get what you focus on
Only, you haven’t “got” this, at least not in the way you think you do. If what you want is to guarantee that you will get a douchebag interviewer who will do his best to screw with you, well then you’re right. You’ve got this. You lined right up with the energy of that. Congratu-freaking-lations.
But, if what you really want is to get an awesome job that makes you so deliriously happy that you feel like singing schmaltzy Disney songs all day, then I’m afraid that I’ve got some bad news for you. You done got on the wrong train, Goober.
Once you understand that you will manifest whatever you have predominantly focused upon, it makes little sense to spend the majority of your time practicing the worst case scenario. And yet that’s exactly what most of us do. Just in freaking case.
A new way to use “Just in case”
I’d like to propose a different way – a new way to use the phrase “just in case”, and one that I believe works a hell of a lot better (Now Bullshit Free, for your pleasure!):
Let’s say you have two options (you really have three, but I don’t consider focusing on what you don’t want an option to getting what you want).
Option 1: Do nothing and just let your vibration, whatever frequency it may be at, manifest your reality. You may be aligned with what you want, and you may not be. You may only be kind of aligned with it, in which case you may get some of what you want and some of what you don’t. You could get the job, but realize that it sucks in various ways. You may have a great interview and not get the job, etc. Your manifestation will show you where your vibration is at, since the two always have to be a perfect match.
Or you could exercise your right to choose
Option 2: You do some positive focusing on the best case scenario and ensure that you line up with the outcome that you want. You know, just in case – just in case your vibration isn’t quite yet where you want it.
There, now doesn’t that feel better?
But… is there never a good reason to prepare for the worst?
Is it really so dumb to take an umbrella when it’s cloudy, or to prepare for tough interview questions, or run a quick Google search on the guy you just met to make sure he’s not a psychopath? No, it’s not dumb. But it shouldn’t be your main focus. Here’s the difference:
If you’re afraid that it’s going to rain and you spend some time focusing on how uncomfortable it would be if you were caught without an umbrella, then you are lining yourself up with an uncomfortable experience. If, then, taking that umbrella makes you feel better, therefore shutting down that crap before it can manifest, then take the freaking umbrella.
If you’re worried about tough interview questions, and you’re unable to focus yourself out of that worry, then spending a bit of time preparing some answers may well allow you to feel better. Once you’ve soothed that fear by taking a bit of action, you can then proceed to align yourself with a positive outcome unimpeded by doubts and fears of douchebaggery.
If you get a wiggy feeling from the guy you’ve just met, it might be your fear, or it might be your intuition telling you to run, run like the wind. Either way, a quick Google search will tell you if you’ve got some resistance to overcome, or if that dimple you found so attractive was actually the result of the orderlies at the mental hospital defending themselves with an ice pick that night he escaped (why orderlies at a mental hospital would have ice pics, is beyond me. Why wouldn’t they have mace or syringes with sleepy time drugs? Someone should really have a word with them.) If doing the Google search puts your mind at ease, then by all means do it.
Don’t spend more time than absolutely necessary on this train of thought. Soothe it and move on. Otherwise, you’re actually insuring that you are lining your energy up with the exact experience you’re trying to avoid.
I’m going to go and visualize myself being waited on by the San Francisco 49ers. Naked. You know, just in case.
If happen to like silly posts that actually make an important point, here are few more that might tickle your fancy (or other body part of your choosing):